Brilliant Scientific Discovery: Fat Ass=Healthy

Apparently "new research" has "proven" that you need to have a fat ass to be healthy!

This is a brilliant discovery with fantastic application, like most scientific discoveries. All you have to do is move the fat from your belly to your ass and then you'll be healthy. Easy! Great! Thanks Doc for your great advice. We'll all get right onto that.

In case you were wondering HOW you might shift the fat to your ass, you probably can't. But with the help of the female hormone ESTROGEN you CAN make yourself especially fat on your ass so the good Doctor will be impressed at your new pearish-shape.

Estrogen is that wonderful hormone that makes you fat, psychotic, water-retentive, impotent, depressed, grows your breast cancers etc etc. But doctors consider estrogen 'good' because, even though it ruins your life, it does tend to lower "bad cholesterol" (whatever that is).

Fortunately estrogens are everywhere: at least 50% of the foods at the supermarket are packed full of phyto-estrogens from soy! Plastic bags and containers give you cancer-causing xeno-estrogens. Pesticides in supermarket fruits and veggies give you all kinds of wierd and wonderful estrogens. Estrogen is EVERYWHERE!!! Just look for the sickest, fattest, most psychologically unwell people you can find and ask what they eat. Estrogen will be at the heart of it all.

Eventually you'll wind up at the Doctors and, impressed with your fat ass and swollen nipples he'll probably tell you something like this:
"Well Miss, I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is: you are 60% bodyfat; you are on a constant roller-coaster-ride of estrogen-enduced emotional irrationality; you don't have enough muscle to stand up and nobody would even dream of having a sexual relationship with your disgusting, fat ass. You're also guaranteed to get breast and ovarian cancer any minute now. But thats OK cos we can just cut off your tits and slice your vagina open to remove your ovaries. You're gonna be a hideous, emotional, pear-shaped, fat-ass with craters for tits and scaring all over your belly and you won't be able to ever have sex. But the good news is that you won't get heart disease or diabetes!"

And then if you explain that you are a man the doctor will probably say "Well thats great! You won't have ovarian cancer then!"

Proof Body Dysmorphia Doesn't Exist

If you're a bodybuilder who is frustrated by low-standard, idiot, pop-psychologists running around saying you have 'body dysmorphia', now you have definitive proof that they're wrong. Zack Khan is living breathing proof that you ARE muscularly pathetic and inadequate; no matter who you are! Behold: