PRESS RELEASE: Women's Accidental Super-Freakism Conspiracy!!!

Paranoia has gripped women around the world as Accidental Super-Freakism (Accidentilium Superious-Freakazoidus or ASF) reaches epidemic proportions – yet mysteriously, not a single sufferer can be found!

ASF seems to manifest as an allergic reaction to weight training equipment loads in excess of 2 kilos. According to reports, overnight the victims entire structure undergoes horrific mutations such that by morning they resemble a professional male bodybuilder – complete with dark tan, paper thin skin, rippling abdominals and posing oil!

Doctor Richard Head, is baffled.

“I am baffled! These poor women are suffering that which men previously required more than a decade of deliberate, chronic, anabolic drug abuse, intense weight training and long-term extreme dieting.”

“Even more remarkable is that it is most prevalent among the least likely of people. It seems the more thoroughly neglected the body, the higher the chance of infection. Those truly unmotivated, obese women with a lifetime abstinence from exercise combined with poor eating habits are most at risk! It never occurs in elite athletes or bodybuilders that might want it to happen.”

Dr. Head explains that somehow these women’s bodies begin synthesizing new protein at biologically impossible rates resulting in their super-human levels of muscle mass. Simultaneously their entire store of subcutaneous fat is lost. Literally hundreds of thousands of calories of energy are consumed over night, while tens of kilos of protein is somehow constructed out of thin air.

For all of the obvious seriousness of ASF, nobody has ever come forward to be studied. The lack of evidence of ASF has lead intelligent people to argue that the condition is a figment of women’s imagination.

While intelligent people are correct in their assertion that ASF is a biological impossibility, Dr Head believes ASF is actually being covered-up as part of an international conspiracy.

“Knowledge of the condition is very widespread so why are we unable to find a single sufferer? Personal Trainers regularly refer women [to my clinic] in terrible distress about ASF. They usually know of friends or celebrity victims now hiding from the press, such is their shame. Sometimes they themselves claim to have gone to a gym, touched on the 2-kilo mass limit and seen mutations begin. Yet none are able to bring forward a single sufferer. I want to know who is covering this up!?”

More suspiciously, those convinced they have a predisposition to ASF display hostility and disorientation when pushed to explain their experiences.

Dr Head says: “Their reactions are similar to alien abductees or Paranoid Schizophrenics. They are utterly convinced that any form of weight training will cause their body to instantly and uncontrollably mutate into a professional male bodybuilder!? And though their claims make absolutely no sense – biologically or philosophically – as long as my name is Dick Head, I’m going to give these people’s concerns due respect!”.

Government and leading Feminist group representatives have so far refused to comment.

For potential sufferers, Dr Dick Head offers the following advice:

• Walking for 30 minutes, 3 times a week is all the exercise you need
• Treadmills are best: you are more likely to quit exercise sooner
• Steppers can be used if you don’t actually bend your knees; a small ‘wiggle’ at the hips is best
• A glass of wine, every night is essential to maintain your current physical state
• If you must lift weights, do not lift more than 2kg dumbbells in any exercise. Plastic coated dumbbells are best.
• On weight machines do not lift more than 2 plates – remember it is the visible amount of metal and not the actual load on the muscle that causes ASF
• Use the Swiss Ball for everything. The Swiss Ball is proven to be an entirely ineffective form of exercise.

If you have any further questions or information for Dr Head please call the Department of Stupid Services.

Visit www.BiologicLabs.com.au for Body Recompositioning diets, training programs, strength coaching, supplements and hormone balancing. Extreme fat loss and muscle development that Personal Trainers and Fitness gyms cannot achieve.

Why Most PT Clients Want To Fail & How PT's Oblige

After Training clients for just a few years I came to a demoralising realisation: the majority of PT clients WANT to fail!

Subconsciously, the majority of Personal Training clients want validation that they are a victim; that their sub-par body is something unfixable that happened TO them by an unbeatable external force. They NEED to fail in order to say to themselves and the World: "My fatness is no fault of my own and it is not due to my actions. It's my genetics/God/hormones/[your excuse here]. I am powerless to fix it. I have no choice but to continue being lazy and eating rubbish because it makes no difference. I tried. I did everything I could. I even paid a Personal Trainer!"

To diet and train effectively would only prove that their fat, decrepit body was their own fault and that they do have the power to fix it. It would also prove that the reason they got out of shape was because of the diet and lifestyle they really do not want to give up because it's probably a lot more enjoyable to them than disciplined training and dieting.

In all things, people tend to put in the effort concomitant to the success they want and/or expect. And when you plan to fail you certainly won't put forth the effort required for success! So most clients treat their PT as a conscience for hire. They want someone else to blame and take responsibility for their own bad choices; as evidenced by the defiant (or guilty) way they admit to eating knowingly fattening foods. Their PT is the perfect target.

And most PT's disingenuously pander to this 'business opportunity' by pretending to sell motivation. This has never ceased to amaze and disgust me! Motivation is: "the desire or willingness to do something". It is self evident that you cannot buy the desire or willingness to do something you have no desire or willingness to do! It is exactly as ridiculous as thinking you can buy unconditional love or everlasting happiness. And any PT pretending to sell 'motivation' is either incapable of rational thought... or just a lying snake-oil salesman!?

Of course, selling motivation to unmotivated people leads to a horribly demoralising and dissatisfying situation for the PT as well. In a referral based business like PTing, the business you take becomes the business you get. So the more vampiric clients a PT takes, the more vampiric clients they will get. And nobody in any industry wants to wake up everyday to work with unmotivated clients who don't respect or desire their service but want to bleed them dry of their energy. The only people who can withstand that are vampiric parasites themselves. Hmmmm...

The Biologic Labs Difference
I created Biologic Labs with a very different goal: to see if SOME people actually DID want a proper, uncompromising body recomposition service? If nobody wanted it, at least I would have the answer to that question for myself! But I was never going to compromise my product to cater to people who didn't want it (despite the continued, persistent 'recommendations' of short-sighted people who just cannot seem to see past copying what everybody else is doing badly).

At Biologic Labs everything is measured and preplanned and presented up front so there are no surprises. If a prospective client doesn't like the way we do things, thats fine; we don't take their business. If they don't want to work that hard or have to follow the diet we set, thats fine; we don't take their business. If they don't want to give up drinking alcohol, thats fine; we don't take their business. Its really simple - if a person doesn't want the quality product we offer, we don't sell it to them!

Clients who don't want to do what is required to succeed are going to fail regardless! Changing our successful product to sell them the failure they want is not good business! The client who fails is disgruntled even when failure was what they wanted. Even worse, before they are disgruntled they refer their friends who want to fail. So the business becomes a place for failures. That then impacts on staff morale and the quality of work staff do. Staff start to expect failure and so they become good at delivering it.

By staying true to our business we ensure we get to focus on doing good work with committed clients who DO want our product. Success breeds success, as they say. It feeds upon itself, just like failure does. The choice for Trainers and clients is which they really want?



Visit www.BiologicLabs.com.au for Body Recompositioning diets, training programs, strength coaching, supplements and hormone balancing. Extreme fat loss and muscle development that Personal Trainers and Fitness gyms cannot achieve.

Why Recomposer Is Unavailable to End-Users

Introduction

Recomposer is the software I personally designed (with a LOT of help from my partners, David and Tibor) to provide the ultimate body recomposition service. It is a very specialised software tool that gives our specialist staff the analysis tools they need to prescribe the exact nutrition and and training for clients to achieve their goals.

Recomposer was designed to help our staff do a better job more easily, deliver a more professional product to our clients, make training new staff more efficient and effective, protect the IP of our business and meet a plethora of other business needs. It is a business tool!

Why Recomposer Is Not Available to End-Users

Recomposer doesn’t create programs and diets. Its the tool our Recomp staff use to create programs and diets!

The measurements and calculations Recomposer makes depend entirely upon the quality of values fed in by our expert staff. If the skinfold measurements or strength test values are inconsistent or incorrect then every prediction and calculation in the system will be completely useless! 

The results our clients get depends on upon the appropriateness of our prescription to their individual needs, and then on their application of that prescription. We could create our prescriptions on a piece of paper or in a spreadsheet. But for a variety of business reasons, we do it with Recomposer.

Really, the software provides nothing more than a bunch of numbers on a screen! Those numbers - the quantities of foods and the weights and reps to be done in the gym - need to be given context to the intended recipient by the Consultant prescribing them! Thats why we have invested heavily in the best equipment to train our clients on. Good numbers used badly are no different than bad numbers!

So in the same way dentists drills are not suitable for the general public to fix their own teeth, Recomposer is not suitable for the general public to create a training program and diet! It is designed for our experts to efficiently create and measure each clients prescription. It doesn’t decide the prescriptions for us! 

Visit www.BiologicLabs.com.au for Body Recompositioning diets, training programs, strength coaching, supplements and hormone balancing. Extreme fat loss and muscle development that Personal Trainers and Fitness gyms cannot achieve.