Running for Bodybuilding Champion

Right now we are 10-ish weeks out from the major competitive Bodybuilding season. So all over the country guys and girls are training hard to look as bodybuilder-esque as possible by October. And as you would expect, that means they are all reducing their weight-training loads and doing lots of running and cycling training.

Of course, bodybuilders don't refer to it as 'training for running and cycling'. Its just that running and cycling is what they spend all their time doing. Apparently all that running and riding "burns fat". And there are various theories about how to avoid looking like a runner or cycler despite training exactly like one. 

Personally, I just can't fathom the stupidity of this. Runners look like runners. Cyclists look like cyclists. Train like a runner or cycler and you'll become a runner or cycler; and you'll probably look like one. Not even drugs can change that! Hell, we all know the Tour De France cyclists are drugged to the eyeballs with all the same stuff pro-bodybuilders use. Ever wondered why not a single one of them looks like a pro-bodybuilder? Just MAYBE it has something to do with the fact that they TRAIN AS CYCLISTS!!! Is anybody really surprised by this?

Now I know that bodybuilders have never been famous for their intellect; they've worked hard for their reputation as galactically stupid. But how the hell did hardcore bodybuilding get so deeply infested by the most worthless, mediocre, mainstream, training methods straight out of "the Biggest Loser"? 

Why in hell would anybody think that endurance training has any relevance to a bodybuilder? Is it because when its called 'cardio' and done on a stationary machine in a gym it becomes a different thing? What? Like: "A rose by any other name is completely different to a rose"? Stupid is as stupid does. And endurance training by someone trying to impart the look of limitless strength is STUPID!!!

The facts remain: walking is not exercise; its not burning any quantity of energy or fat worthy of mention; its not helping or even bothering the heart of a hard-training athlete; its just a complete waste of time. Can anybody REALLY believe that a person will wind up looking MORE like a cartoon superhero because they engaged in WALKING??? How??? WHY??? Forget all the contradictory science; stop studying the trees, look up and see the forest: walking doesn't help create a muscular physique!

Running on the other hand is endurance training; its training to become a runner and will make you LOOK like a runner. Again, why would anybody think otherwise? Surely even the most cliched 'dumb-bodybuilder' knows that!?

Genetic Laziness & Smoking

A moments silence, please, for all those people around the world who are genetically lazy. Yes, new research has found that laziness isn't a characteristic based on choice; its preprogrammed in some peoples DNA. Check the link here...

And what a tragedy it is for those people. Their own DNA completely prevents them from being able to choose to do, well, ANYTHING, obviously! How can they do anything? If they are genetically lazy then they are incapable of effort. It is impossible for them to move. They can't work; they can't get out of bed; they obviously can't even eat... though somehow they manage to push past their genetic barriers to eat themselves to a fat-assed-death. And they get also manage to get past their genetic barriers to drink copious quantities of booze. Their genetics also fail to stop them getting their fat asses down to CentreLink where they very unlazily bitch and complain about the money they're owed for somehow, disgustingly, procreating; creating zillions more genetically-lazy trailer-park-trolls!

Much the same sympathy is deserved by the genetic smokers. Yes, smoking is genetic which means you have no choice in the matter either. If your DNA says you're a smoker then its going to happen TO YOU. You WILL BE a VICTIM to smoking. See, some peoples bodies produce proteins that bind their arms behind their backs, form cigarettes between their lips and expand their lungs to take giant inhalations of nicotine enriched smoke. The DNA of these poor souls' then forms cancer in response to the cigarettes they had forced upon them. Its nicotine rape. But the rapist is their own DNA! Its tragic! 

And here was me, all this time, thinking that our genes simply describe how our bodies form and respond to the world we subject ourselves to. Nope. Seems I was wrong. According to the new Science, your genetics don't say that you will turn you into a fat bastard IF you choose to face-slam a million calories of shit per day; your genes say whether you will be fat, or lazy, or a smoker irrespective what choices you make. Very interesting. Useful information that too. Especially if you are a lazy, fat bastard who smokes!

Strength Training in Older People

Some amazing, ground-breaking research is coming out that will make you rethink everything  you once thought. It seems that when old people train with weights they get... STRONGER!!! Even more amazingly, their muscles grow as they get stronger. 

Its crazy; but its almost like old people respond to weight training just like, well... PEOPLE. Like HUMAN people. Even though they're OLD! Its just amazing. Who'd ever think this would be the case? But its true. Check it out here...