And this was a HUGE study: half a million 50-71 year olds around the USA! So you know its conclusive: red meat is poisonous, cancer-growing, genocidal evilness that must be BANNED!!!
And don't think you can get away with ANY kind of red meat. Because the study grouped all types of red meat into one equal group. So you thought that protein rich, no-fat, grilled kangaroo fillet was a healthy choice? WRONG! Its RED! Its a killer! It is, according to the study, EXACTLY the same as pork, bacon, meatlovers pizza, hotdogs and burgers!
Thats how arrogant and stupid you are! You thought a 250g, lean fillet of organic meat was somehow different to an American, 8-foot, Jumbo Bacon Pizza with triple cheese, and so much preservative even locusts couldnt eat it? You idiot. Now you're gonna die!
And its finally proven by these genius scientists; they've got conclusive proof that a steak will kill you! Because, clearly, all people who eat red meat don't discriminate between Premium Eye Fillet and pizza, hotdogs, burgers, bacon and roast pork. We just face-slam all of it just like the aging Americans we all want to be. But that would be missing the point. See Pizza and burgers and hotdogs are fine... except for the red meat parts!
Scientists keep reminding us that there is no proof that the American diet of a million calories per day of plastic-coated-sugar will kill you. But they have just discovered the red meat inside your deep-fried sugar roll will!
2 comments:
Hey I'm convinced. Look at all the people who eat red meat and die every year. No more red meat for me.
And I am off the Lentils too. Every vegan I know over 100 is dead as well.
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